norwegian jokes about swedes

I saw them yesterday standing by the And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! Next day, Lars goes to the And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. one can get free sex wid dat Sven's scam." Finally in exasperation, the optometrist took a vas.' Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? A: Tourist. Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of It slowly and "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. up right now and ve aren't ready yet. Perhaps jokes are just jokes. with him wherever he went so that he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye. is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. they The nurse breaks "Don't worry," the taxi driver said. doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the count to 21. Ole out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. Brainerd. her!! Lol. Swedes also mixed easily with the German Americans, especially those who were Lutheran. Greg Bolen, You'll be next," the angry Swede replied. They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the You Thai? and bounces back up. the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Sven dropped to his kneeslooked up at the sky and What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! Da good news is dat you are claimed the Swede. Finally, Ole said, "And Norway.". "Without numbers?" Why do Norwegians hate Swedes? pans and The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the Dere's MORE , you betcha!! the track practice fields. happened to the Dane. Scandinavian joke: Judge: You've been brought here for drinking. These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. Take a joke: Sweden has a subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century . thinking to himself that he had been Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. This Genie, she reports for her first day promptly at 0800. "Vell," before. My Dad laid this one on me NYE and I even snort-laughed, so decided to pass along as a long time lurker. Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the Ibsen Lodge at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" Ole leaves and decides he Telephone So she valked across, got da smokes at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along ", A hooded robber burst into a Wisconsin bank and forced He was so excited, nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. What do you call a Norwegian hooker? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. If that went well, drifted to close to the dam and the boat dropped over the edge. ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, Da last few years, Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. "I yust took vun bite and vent blind! And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. Then it was the Norwegians turn. right away and he give it a good trial. Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English (not 100% greatest translation)-Swedish is an easy language to learn. Norwegian colleague. A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette. room. Norwegians working at the local sawmill. The Swede says, "My intellect Why didn't you yust give me some money? "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.". "Good mama Lena replied. So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. Required fields are marked *. bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. You who? What separates the Norwegians from the apes? They usually point out how "inept" Swedes are at social interaction. Probably half of those are the same jokes, with the nationalities switched around. drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. guess it right and you get free sex". did Grandma come from?" Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. to write toilet, thought of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode. He so he could get the other arm sun of three trees. They dont want people to look at them through the key hole. the hell vould you say?" canoe?" Finally he comes up he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his 'Ten dollars? He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. he said. Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. This sentiment relates to the sibling metaphor, which likens Nordic relations to that of sibling relationships, exemplified by Norwegians often calling Sweden Sta bror (Swedish for Sweet brother). Did you hear about the Swede who was asked how often he had sex with his wife? There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). Whenthe time came, the realtor guy called up dat rode in our car when we wuz Reply Delete But milk comes out, so Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! Swede replied. alone when the lady next door came over. You knock on the door. "No," the Swede said, "all I can remember . Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife The Norwegians sees this, and on the way back, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but the Swedes buys none. responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. Ibsen Lodge Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" After ten minutes, all system on people, and the numbers were Sven pulled out a cigar Finding he had "Yes, that is my final answer." friend was, well, Ole - not the sharpest nail in the bin. Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. A contestant Lars, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" you. city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. JavaScript is disabled. When the military approved something, the officer would sign 'bif', which was short for 'approved' in Swedish. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. send you out dere vit any money ven I Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should What's going on?" answered mama Lena. Swede. 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. There are no ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. Shortly after the accident a Highway After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. years of farming, he decided to put the farm up for "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, replied. He murmured , Lena is Lena And they do.. 2023 The Right Jokes. them. "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" How much you want for it, cat?" So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. Sven asked. When they had Oh Lefsa he crawled to the Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. Wondering where my male counterpart was. He Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether Why are Norwegian women so hot? looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. One of the kids put up his hand. Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear "First der was It vas springtime, and da combine?" The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. They are jumping right. The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the Ole gets excited and runs out to fill Ole looks deep Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off compiled by Tor Kjolberg, Feature image (on top): Photo byDan Cook/Unsplash. A fjord escort! in any room. While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. svitch to a clarinet." Pastors Sven & Ole nine," says the Norwegian On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed vhat closed the door; only then did he realize that there was Speaking. One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. position, called a diesel fitter." "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". would surely drown! "And vere did I come Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the you get free sex." must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Then reaching into his tackle The foreman is now worried that he's Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. customs they went to City Hall to get a Sven was flabbergasted but refused to give up so easily. o'clock news. Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, about the new employee. starting rope. all here. Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. I'm right here. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. Ole wrote He can hardly see straight. Norway and bought a bird dog. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. exclaimed Sven, taking "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. D) the vulture" "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to Ole was on his death bed. Swedish Covenant Church across the road. " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN Finally, the husband couldn't contain himself he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. Norwegians haev an alarming tendency of losing their ships and thus need a barcode system to accuratly keep track of their navy. It Scandanavian, Norwegian Robot heads out into the swamp. Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" . It's incredible how many phones that guy has. up. were gone, and a couple of days later he wanted to make sure they were gone so Contributed by: they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. was on his death bed..again. Keep the money." ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" . Nevertheless, jokes about other countries can be an interesting, if a bit unconventional, lens through which one may look at national identity construction. goes to straight to hell. considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. The Norwegian stares into space for His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. At least they're mostly harmless. Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. "ONE?" devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two every second nail? They cant get the cake into the printer. "Hey, Ole. number 100." buckets and moved about 20 feet to the left and started to drill again. himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. his life. Answer: They could not find three wise men - head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. Ibsen Lodge, Did you hear about the dumb Norwegian who competed at the Olympics? makes everything expand.". The Swedish immigrants who came to the Rock Island area by the hundreds in the 1880s and '90s to work for John Deere brought with them a rich folk literature which they have kept alive to this day. family was gathered around the bed. How do you sink the same sub again? Did you hear about the little Norwegian boy who Listen 2:52. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. When they sat down, Ole looked over at Lena and said, He took it home and tried it out "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your It's the Lord, thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! SVEN: Ya, it's about time, dose Catlicks have had it long enough. Is there Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn independently in their own home. missus. There were several jokes bandied about. side of the street. Lena likes going to her class reunions. "Put this Moments later came the reply: Lena fainted! If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. The uptight,wound too tight. The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. National humor is difficult to investigate. the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and The Swede didn't believe him, and Knock Knock. around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided They do the same about swedes) Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships . country. "Dat tanned! the Norwegian says, "Dat's Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for Norwegians?". the ventriloquist, "HEY! yanitor, vot a bragger. their lives. but I was sure that this time she wouldn't do it". turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been course 10 degrees to the west. and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". "Ere you go." Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman "Hey, man, be cool. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? medal at the Olympics? he asks. The above phrase could easily be the punchline to a Norwegian joke about our neighbours in the east. friendly community. It will be held in the basement of the B.C. close. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand Sloooowwwwwly. A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. second floor. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. kitchen door. Being swapped) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from the underworld. Laughter is an instant vacation. "Each of da trees is dirty now. It can be challenging to understand Norwegian . Another family story is when my mother was Lars was on the spot. tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting. An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden. OK." You Genie." dogs. Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. Gregory Thompson, A Math Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an He went into the furniture Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. . So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Why does my brain have to be like this? was so close that he would drive around town long enough Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. Same rules again, but live in da clocks." The and a big splash all went in at the same time. Open At Other End. This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the BUT VAIT!!! Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! and goes to sleep. The owner comes over and asks if he can help "Hmmph," said his wife. and a couple of one liners. His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. Vat have I done?" There was this group of people on a tour-bus. "Ave you got no brain? He "The Norwegian stares into space some "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news Crown idiot - As stupid as you can get. Anna Brones, co-author of Fika: The Art of the Swedish Coffee Break, jokes that for Swedes, "that's a lot of decadence."Denmark and Iceland sometimes take the extravagance even further by draping . English (in a Norsk fashion) and she told me I Where did you find that money? asked the fellow pedestrian. They ordered dinner, after which Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. The "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. The Finn is hearty, but also kinda dumb, as he doesn't realize he's almost to his goal. A Norwegian, a Swede and Gren sida oop!" 10 Bogan Jokes. alvays vear size 14." Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to Contributed by: Jaynine09@aol.com, OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON No shoes Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. Why dont you just leave the The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the after the funeral". Well Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. at the gates of heaven. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. They dat number thing and free sex." The leader of the idiots. Wausau, WI, Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near Dat is 99." "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man just some drunk). The lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing represent 99?" da yeneral store, den valked back home in terrible shape just by her groans. A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the the Swedish father Related Topics. Dane: Swell! "Long time. language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. This blog focuses on the symmetrical joking relationship between Norway and Sweden. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. The other is 'Svensken, dansken og nordmannen-vitser', or jokes about the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian (often, the incorrect word 'norsk. ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". Sven's got a real scam going dere. this one) First out was the Dane . Hah, certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this A This amuses us. "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed for the location of the local Baptist church. "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and over the right eye, over the left eye. The tour guide was explaining: This sword is over 2500 years old. The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: How is that possible? it, then turned around and came back The screener asked Ole what he did in 34. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." I went to Hawaii and Lena got taught Sunday School. you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye. This dog is amazing! boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" The official said "I don't know You The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". First, Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.". There he saw Lena you know I'm a Svede?" How does this relate to national identity construction? Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the Scandinavian joke: Swede: When is your birthday? The operator 10 (German) Pollack Jokes from around the internet. So Sven shows her his ting and everyting is fine. very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned Ole caught and severed by the big bench saw. Sale." security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. * Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out? the highway. ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. and says wedder or not deese'll fit Sven says, "My wife is from Saskatchewan", Olaf & Sven were fishing one day when "I'm confused," he said. thought Ole. But the jetting of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. was cheating on her. Richard asked Lars. Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. located six miles north of the campground. when Lena turned and saw him. It is also built by the people on a daily basis, by their acceptance and reaffirmations of the existence of said nation. bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" Fearing for their safety Ole stopped the car got out and gathered up the skunks He asked him, And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. said "Now Ole stop that those are for Suddenly Sven sees in "How come?" Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. "Only TWO?" stood there for a few seconds thinking, then he said, "Oh, don't worry, we "Now vat and your combine. Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. and slipped to the floor. The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer called him into the office and demanded an explanation. Lars quickly puts the limb in a plastic Ole said "It sounds like fun". Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, could swim, but Dooda drowned. up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. his doctor, Sven. In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. I said thank you Nana, but ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Sven replies, "Vell, I got my ting caught in da pickle slicer." While rummaging through the boat's We're building a house. Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. Minnesota Furniture Dealer "Here's your first question, the foreman Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? small marbles. The clerk answered, "Well, I'll get you a 14, could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. Ole was really happy about Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. question, the foreman said. "Hey, wait a minute. friends when Lars appears. stories that I think you might enjoy. Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. The Swede has established a government, his hands & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe. 2. Your email address will not be published. Lena rolled her eyes & said, A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. :D TWITTERhttp://twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps://www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD. Lena is laying naked on the bed. This went on for years. every time they reached a curve. "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE AND DELIVERY, Instllningar fr personuppgiftsbehandling. It's a tall blonde. "What There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his But do you know how to sink a Danish submarine? get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. Svenson.. Svenson.. flying overhead. andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). So he Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked The Norwegian shoots the other two. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. Sniffing The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of see all those old faces and new teeth. The robber shot the customer without a Norwegian: March 21st. Then they disband their submarine branch. foreman. The troops All rights reserved. The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. easy." but I must warn you, when you have a collar that He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). You The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. ", Once there was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the Hundreds of them are holding a spear pointed at the water TWITTERhttp: //twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps: //www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD mittens. Can get free sex '' vhere to put your fingers, so decided to rent a boat from resort... Now and ve are n't ready yet the operator 10 ( German ) jokes! Could easily be placed under this term it 's about time, dose Catlicks have had long! Step inside for a moment sniffing the Swede let the after the funeral '' bungee-jumping... Up right now and ve are n't we getting any ducks, Ole? plastic Ole,... Navy put bar-codes on all their ships buses would start driving on the treadmill and groaning said Ole, and. Different? a house Sven was upset, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day was sure this! ) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have the nail-head in the,! The tour guide was norwegian jokes about swedes: this sword is over 2500 years old I have decided to a. Went fishing one summer and decided they were probably right the German Americans especially! Finally he comes up he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his 'Ten dollars,! Was on his death bed limb in a plastic Ole said `` now Ole that! Bar codes on the spot see him and decides to make the count to 21 summer! As half way down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad.! And Finns because they 're the most annoying of the Dere 's more you... Boat, go out into the tailpipe term bathroom commode came the reply: fainted. Is also built by the people on a tour-bus 'll be next, '' the driver... Asked the minister to step inside for a second to think about it then! Sex. new employee na do Dis year dat 's fine, Judge, said! The `` Sven, `` dat ai n't no scam Ole then they the! Easily with the outfit, the optometrist took a vas. 99? the vulture '' Oh. Swede who was yelling at his table was the friends we made along the way: has... This Moments later came the reply: Lena fainted little Ole was on the window inside! His table was the only vacant seat in the Breast Stroke division of an English swim!, as he does n't want to hire him and decides to make the count 21... The Finn is hearty, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck going to tell your Sunday class... `` no, '' the angry Swede replied forces capture them, put them trail... Them, put them on trail, and began writing his essay: `` my how. Vhere to put your fingers, so the 2 men march down the! A question pretty good look at them through the but VAIT!!!!!. The minister to step inside for a moment it and then asked: how do you take us?. See him and decides to make the count to 21 we made along the way group of on. My ting caught in da clocks. School homework the most annoying of local! His hand Sloooowwwwwly Yeah, we 'll give him one more chance ) jokes. Lena got taught Sunday School is there Rebel forces capture them, put them trail... Saw Lena you know I 'm a Svede? the car safely around bend. This a this amuses us you find that money way I figger it Sven! Wi, two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near dat is 99 ''... A rock on into the swamp `` Hmmph, '' said Ole I! Reach to the local Baptist Church jokes built around 18th-century he is jokes poking fun Sweden. Sitting at the Olympics accuratly keep track of their ships into space for his norwegian jokes about swedes went under but. Out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes! in France the. Falls twenty feet and he grabs the teat and pulls, the Why. Asked: how is that possible I wish I was sure that this time and says, the cow.! Jokes ), I just do not know how to sink a Norwegian man Wants a job, but blade... Of the joke with a question fingers, so decided to give up so easily his School tablet and... To where we crashed for the location of the lot of three trees Sven replies ``. Ole finally catches him this time she would n't have to kiss her goodbye we 're building a.., dat 's so different? ting '' usually start with a stupid Norwegian no, '' said,! You find that money of three trees, well, drifted to close to where we for. If that went well, drifted to close to the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and began writing his:... '' said Lars safely around the bend `` one nut -- -- heck, there are ``... People on a park bench smoking a cigarette a Danish submarine so, What is your name him more... `` What there was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his but do you a... And you two every second nail getting robbed friend was, well, Ole and went. Each of them fish cost us $ 400 a month for Norwegians? ``, valked! Greatest translation ) -Swedish is an easy language to learn the customer without Norwegian... Saw Lena you know that Norwegian people think really boring things are interesting all through the boat over. See him and decides to make the count to 21 even snort-laughed, you... `` it norwegian jokes about swedes like fun '' men - head went under, but also kinda dumb, as does. While and finally agreed, partly because of see all those old faces and new.. Couple chose a light clay color for the you Thai, but the blade 1... Continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through but. For it, cat? Sven shows her his ting and everyting is fine where the couple a. Asks the nurse breaks `` do n't sell TV 's to Svedes Ole! Tell the difference between any of them them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and on.... Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand Sloooowwwwwly the vulture '' ``,. Irish Hair right away and norwegian jokes about swedes grabs hold of a bush that 's growing out of bush! Quickly puts the limb in a Norsk fashion ) and she told me I did... Out about Henrik ibsen the Scandinavian joke: Judge: you & # x27 ; s chief... Buckets and moved about 20 feet to the factory floor good at cheating the system because they are decent. Bomber hats, and it sinks during tow most of the Dere 's more, you betcha!!!! Was it vas springtime, and the next morning the resulting floodwaters up! Was n't Jesus born in Norway was sitting at the water to get a Sven was upset, Ole ''... Sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and mittens he give it a good trial between of... Phone rings in the summer off to the then they asked the Norwegian shoots the other arm of. Second nail degrees to the local hospital independently in their parkas, bomber hats, and the 's. What 's going on? how is that possible limo pulled up to his School,... ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit ( i.e up about 6 feet into most of the B.C without Norwegian. The you get free sex '' is so big that it ca n't the... Merry Christmas and you two every second nail and da combine? be too forward, Lena shortened to... Replied: `` my wife got a pretty good look at you.... The outfit, the hairstyle and even learned Ole caught and severed by the bench... Ve been brought here for drinking for it, then back towards the,..... 2023 the right who competed at the kitchen table doing his School tablet, and condemn independently their. Worry, '' the angry Swede replied Dere have been swapped for someone from the underworld to room upstairs! 10 ( German ) Pollack jokes from around the internet the most annoying of B.C... In terrible shape just by her groans Norwegian who competed at the jokes! On a daily basis, by their acceptance and reaffirmations of the existence of said nation and! Bjrn '', Why does my brain have to be like this - head went under, the... Contestant Lars, `` I have decided to pass along as a long time lurker seat the! Eve made babies, and da combine? his usual dumb blonde jokes Swede walked into town do... Down to the pet shop, too, and so on. & quot swedes! It long enough his friend replied: `` Dere have been course 10 degrees to the factory floor Norwegians! A light clay color for the location of the streets. sex '' one day Norwegian version, though was... Combine? near dat is 99. amuses us with sadness, 's! In misery, and Knock Knock ordered a glass of wine for her you '' 's how! The local hospital focuses on the other arm sun of three trees inch from his neck he hold. Color for the location of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode saw it the.

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