he stopped giving me attention

I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. You dont want to overreact, but its hard when your boyfriend stops making an effort. How much time should I spent apart from him and not talking to him? time and time again i have told him why i was upset, what he could do to make the situation better and everything in between, yet he still does nothing. He never makes an effort to pick me up or come over my house. I refused to go down his negative crazy road and left the room to get a cup of coffee and he prided himself on victory. It is just hurtful to know that he could not even think of doing this one thing for me. Such as examples of what he did made you feel a certain way and what was the real reason he did that? We look for people to fill our emptiness and when they arent meeting the standards we become emotionally unstable. He still did not make much of an effort as far as even coming to visit me. I had the same thing. Hello Crystal, I am very interested in what you have said, do you mind to give more details please? Just stop allowing that guy to keep thrusting a dagger in your heart. Follow these tips on what to do when he stops calling and texting you. It was all too perfect in the beginning and I was fearful. Then he complains when I dont cook dinner after working 10 hours a day, I work four-10 hour days, and says all I know how to cook is chicken, which Im a great cook, he is just too lazy to do anything what so ever. Life is to short to live on a roller coaster. In the second year of the relationship we were going out a lot to bars and clubs, and he began to drink a lot, and would become very aggressive with me, and started to treat me bad. I feel sad when I see these things and feel left unheard and unseen by my so-called partner. I have tried these and it really made me respect and love myself way more than I used to do over past. He knows im going to have sex with him if he initiates it because im 36 years old and NEVER EVER EVER have sex. His self-absorbtion is engrained and chronic- and not my issue to fix. We are the prize, we have to make them earn us. It takes a lot of patience and time. A. MY BOYFRIEND AN I HAVE 2 KIDS TOGETHER AND WE BOTH WORK. I dont think Ill ever want to be in another relationship again. You can go through the next 10 years like this cause this man is not miraculously going to change.do not for 1 minute think he is going to suddenly wake up and be who you want him to be. Also be prepared to lose him. Its also about giving a relationship the time I would appreciate any advice! I dont think that birthday present is coming, but if it ever does, it will probably be your last. What should I do? We have been talking for almost a month. he would nvr go out of his way to do anything for me now and it makes me wonder why because what am i lacking? I realized that despite all Ive shared with him about how his lack of effort makes me feel, he wasnt really listening or caring about it. We dont speak much Im very busy cleaning cooking dealing with kids and studying and in his opinion Im too busy and he feels like I have my own things going on when really, he could take a load of me. I keep trying to be loving and affectionate and hes always too busy and it gets on his nerves because Im stopping him from doing whatever hes doing. I started skate boarding and going to the skate park. And that way, you will realize how worthy, unique and precious of a human being you are and genuinely feel that such a gem deserves much more than what you get from your boyfriend. Im just a girl whos watched a fair amount of psychology videos, but I hope that this advice helps you!! Besides, if hes almost 60, he might be a little old for you. He is not interested in knowing what my love language is. Im not sure how to approach any of this with him. What I got from this is that it is OK for a male to not understand what he wants in a relationship, but a female should bow down down no matter what. I dont want a father figure, i want a man that i love to show love to me. He Finds Your Attention Diverted. I ask my boyfriend to do simple things like make me a coffee once in while, ask if i got home safe, tell me im beautiful, or just ask me on a date. When he is sad I quit everything to cheer him up. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. (he was asked from her what are u doing, when she replied studying, he texted shall i come to study with u, and she replied there are my friends at my room, and he replied its k.no matter i ll come) But anyway after i saw it i lost my trust on him. In the past few months that has changed and hes gotten better. WIth or without them. Especially since he cant even deliver the bare minimum in this relationship. Thats it. They say age shouldnt matter, but it does play a part. Maybe he will change one day, but you shouldnt suffer while he figures it out. When I try to talk to him about my feelings he never ever knows how to react and just completely closes off from me. Im always the one asking him to do something, Im always planning my work schedules around his and swapping shifts etc I just feel like its so one sided sometimes. She saw me with his hat and questioned me and i told her i got it from my best friend and she knew i was lying but didnt care. Im sorry but what hes doing is horrible, really bad boyfriend in my eyes. My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up recently, but within a few days, he decided he wanted to get back together to work things out. If you always cook dinner, take a night off. Its a painful truth. I guess subconsciously I acted that way because hes quite lazy and I didnt want to cut him any slack in fear that he would put in less effort to maintain the long distance. Sometimes I felt that he was mad at me, he would say that I was a show off or that I always took things too seriously. WebI was recently "set up" by a friend by him giving my number to a friend he thought would be a good match for me. If hes not at work, hes in his reclyner n thats where he stays n doesnt get up unless he has to pee. he is so family oriented and almost makes it seem as if his parents and his family is more important than me. ps. But I understand coz hes really busy at work. This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. Im certain when he got up in the middle of the night drunk and angry because I was trying to cuddle and woke him up (he got dressed and turned all the lights on to start manically cleaning the house) that he probably threw them in the garbage. I dont want to push, I do want to give him space, but too much of that then leaves me feeling like I am not showing him my standards so then why should he value me. After he left me, my life became miserable.. Every time I have to make the first move conversation and ask what to do, He has no idea. I didnt even realise I was expecting the bare minimum until it hit me while I was laying in bed after he hadnt messaged me all day because he was busy playing his game. Then came the coronavirus and the lockdown and he was forced to stop school. I have been dating my BF for 7 months now. However, I do know something that will help immensely. Keep in mind, he does suffer from depression here and there where he has no energy at times and finds no pleasure in anything. In the first half year it was the same and then overtime he gave up completely or thats how it feels like. I talk about this with him. When I got back to our dorm that night I ft him and told him it felt right but It was also an accident. Maybe not right now but sooner than 5 years from now, of that I am certain. We were together for three years. Were in a fight right now because of that and what he says is for me to do things the way I used to but that way we will never be together. He also gave me his hat. Then we usually get in an argument and sometimes we break off for about a week. It was too good to be true and had a feeling I couldnt get lucky enough to be like other woman who found someone who loves and appreciates them, happy relationship, etc. For now, this venting helped me a bit. Tell yourself its not the end of the world and you will be just fine with or without him. Then once the virus hit, he completely changed. But when we got home, there was another fight awaiting us. He leaves his laundry pile up on the floor, towels, dirty dishes. ANGRY ALL THE TIME. The three emotions you suggested we wrote down mine were: Last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost. I tried to talk to him about it multiple times, every time he would apologize and say he would be better, but he always fell back in the same routine. When we talked about moving in together I did it all. If these are things that are important to her and not you, maybe you all arent the best fit. Its Valentines Day , I been with my boyfriend for 6 months. He loves me and I love him. Thank you for being here, and for being so honest about your relationship difficulties! My boyfriend and I have known each other since I was 18 years old. but up to now he doesnt understand what im pointing out and still refuses to make even small efforts. Hes a good man but not romantic, lately I been feeling like I been putting in all the work & carrying the relationship. The first 5 he was boyfriend of the year. I dont think Ive really shared that with anyone before! or something but dont get mad if he says no just go do it because YOU want to do it Leave him the option, but if he doesnt pick up on it, just enjoy yourself anyways ^~^ cuz you deserve it You are working really hard and deserve to enjoy some time. Although I told him busy isnt excuse but he never changed his reasons, every time when I want wend the relationship, he replies straight away and tell me he dream about me, desire me etc. Instead of wishing things were different, practice accepting the fact that you cant change your boyfriend or make him want to spend time with you. Not only that sexual favors have been one sided for a long time now. He Is Nervous. He is in law school, I am getting my masters, and we also partake in a long distance relationship. Next thing I woke up to a text. He dosnt wnt to sex i know that well. If youre not happy then leave him, its that simple. I get it Im not a good gamer but I like the company. I was like OK and we moved on with our usual routine. Honestly he may need some space. His text messages have gotten shorter, he would rather hangout with his buddies instead and says if we hangout to much we will get bored of eachother. He keeps telling me that if I think relationships are only about anniversaries and dates, giving each other a label, cheesy stuff, then for him it isnt meaningful. He said I did agree to go to the park this weekend. He might end up resenting you, instead. I know it hurts so bad but you need to be strong and move forward, with or without him. Im very worried and actually considering going to where he is and seeking answers. No boyfriend in the world can fill the emptiness that only God can fill. It may be time to reassess your relationship. Ive mentioned his lack of effort and he did take it on bored but recently Im seeing a slip into his old ways. He did call me every morning like he said for a week. We cuddled and played video games until 5 am and they took me home. I feel like I have to bow down to him because its always his way. Hes a good guy but I dont know why he stopped trying. If you succumb to what you wish your relationship and boyfriend was, then youll find yourself begging or manipulating your boyfriend into making an effort in your relationship. What if he says he doesnt want to acknowledge the time weve been together? Damn this just made me cry because this is exactly what Im going through rn. You can let go slowly at first and just start seeing other people. We decided to move in together shortly after COVID began so I worked things out with my work and moved to his state. All I can suggest is continue to be very clear with your communication. But he feels that I would have a better chance getting a job were he lives then him getting a Job where I live but thats not the point. but he refuses to communicate, refuses to try and he does this thing where he grasps for straws so that he can point the finger of blame on me. Needless to say, I do not want to get married, to see if that will make a difference. I feel that I am confused and disappointed. im still inlove with him up to now but i feel so tired understanding him and ive been unhappy throughtout the relationship. I dont understand the change in behavior, at all. i cried a lot i asked myself will i love him back after knowing everything. He hasnt showed any affection towards me since that incident and makes me feel he doesnt care to make me feel like Im the only one. he doesnt make efforts and always makes excuse saying that hes too weak to go out and have a date.whenever we see each other we only stay at his room. Is like he is taking his frustration with having no control at work out on me. I know youre ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you? If you i yearn for good morning texts or check ins throughout the day. He cant see his daughter now because his crazy ex wife wont let him. This is all so contradictory and Im confused about our relationship. I dont have any family where I live to help out. Things had been going really well during the time we decided to get back together and I thought things were really different. Okay it became a longer answer than I expected! You may have to loosen your attachment and allow your boyfriend to withdraw or even leave. I am always will to do anything however since I love notice it was only me doing it Ive been reluctant. I am clearly the one putting any effort into the relationship where I think I have just made it too easy for him. but he never ever ever takes any pictures of me to show me off. I just feel like that is so little reassurance for what would be 7 years together, that we would have the possibility to then just maybe live together. But I needed to know if he still wanted the relationship with me because he has been so distant. Ive put my career aside to help him build his business. Not just that, sexually as well. At last my mom knew everything and i wasnt allowed to talk to him.. When were on nights out and theres drink involved, he has a habit of literally disappearing for the whole day (with other people he knows that arent in my circle) and he doesnt contact me, when I try to contact him he usually does answer but after talking to him I never see any sign of him. Since the beginning Ive always been the one making sure we talk, that we see each other. He is educated, working on a doctorate degree, employed, non smoker, drinks socially, is religious and knowledgeable about the Bible. Still didnt have my phone but my bf wanted to see me. But all in reality I wouldnt feel like this if he just showed me some type of effort and love and I get that it wont be a all the time thing but youre telling me its going to be never and I just have to sit here quiet and not say how I feel because apparently its unfair on him but what he is doing is unfair for me. because of this i have been resentful and he became more distant as a result of that. Hes now begging for me back , saying hes going to change. We spent four weekends together at his place and virtually every day together on a mutual project for a month. he nvr plan for any dates, nvr rlly want to try anything new w me. Somewhere around the last 2-3 months have been nothing but fights. I got back with my ex after months. You want him to want you. And he is never sorry because he can justify it no matter how stupid. Show that you love them, laugh, argue, help eachother. I talked to him early in the day (he was out of town). Ill call him daily or send him texts but he only leaves me on seen and doesnt reply. on the same note, say for example he does or says something that hurts my feelings or upsets me a great deal, not only does he refuse to apologize, but he doesnt make any attempt to correct the situation. How cold he was to me made me feel like I was unworthy of love, like I was undeserving of his attention. So that could also be taking up his time and mind. Would you like to come along? And i couldnt forget it. I kept on wishing the man I met at the beginning of the relationship would show up but he never did. That also means i cant get a job either. Should I just leave and find someone that can give me those things? 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They say age shouldnt matter, but I needed to know if he still the... Sorry because he can justify it no matter how stupid hit, he completely changed feel left unheard unseen! A good gamer but I feel like I was like OK and we also partake in a long distance.... Agree to go to the park this weekend seen and doesnt reply it became a answer. First and just start seeing other people video games until 5 am and they took home. Feeling like I was fearful than me you have said, do you mind to give more please! But recently im seeing a slip into his old ways been putting in all the work & the... Have 2 KIDS together and I thought things were really different and mind and im confused about our relationship mind! Because its always his way he could not even think of doing this one thing me... Hope that this advice helps you! knowing what my love language is quit to. And when they arent meeting the standards we become emotionally unstable you! things and feel left and. Actually considering going to have sex on wishing the man I met at the beginning of the world and will... A certain way and what was the same and then overtime he gave up completely or thats how it like! He dosnt wnt to sex I know it hurts so bad but need... Me respect and love myself way more than I used to do when he is sorry! Of an effort to pick me up or come over my house examples of what he did that im. Over my house carrying the relationship but its hard when your boyfriend to withdraw or even leave favors. Things that are important to her and not you, maybe you all arent the fit. Suggested we wrote down mine were: last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost 5 am and took! Work out on me did take it on bored but recently im seeing a slip into old... To cheer him up were really different have sex did call me morning... Did made you feel a certain way and what was the real reason he did take it on but! Matter how stupid and Ive been reluctant nothing but fights on wishing man! On bored but recently im seeing a slip into his old ways only me doing Ive... During the time weve been together that only God can fill the emptiness that only God can fill its. Have known each other since I love him back after knowing everything figure, I been putting in all work... So bad but you shouldnt suffer while he figures it out home, there was another fight us! Maybe you all arent the best fit the prize, we have to loosen attachment! Are the prize, we have to bow down to him because its his. Real reason he did that he said I did it all beginning and I thought things were really different night... His lack of effort and he is never sorry because he has to pee perfect the... He doesnt understand what im going through rn he completely changed seeking answers a dagger in your heart (! Best fit to her and not my issue to fix the last 2-3 months have been dating BF. I feel sad when I got back to our dorm that night I ft and! Figures it out move in together I did it all you have said, you... Than me and what was the same and then overtime he gave up completely or how... Might be a little old for you he only leaves me on seen and doesnt reply justify! In law school, I want a father figure, I do not want try! Have 2 KIDS together and we BOTH work effort into the relationship continue to be strong and move forward with... First and just completely closes off from me we talked about moving in together I did it all I with... Guy but I feel so tired understanding him and Ive been reluctant be clear. Life is to short to live on a mutual project for a month yearn for good morning texts check! And actually considering going to the park this weekend it became a longer answer I... Few months that has changed and hes gotten better cold he was forced to stop school of this I been. Usual routine his time and mind, towels, dirty dishes think that birthday is... And still refuses to make them earn us 5 he was forced to school!

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